The Joker: [to Det. Stephens] Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
The Joker: I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.
Joker: Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren’t you? Huh? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Gambol: [to The Joker] Give me one reason why I shouldn’t have my boy here rip your head off.
The Joker: How about a magic trick?
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table]
The Joker: I’m gonna make this pencil… disappear.
[Gambol's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who pushes his face into the pencil and kills him]
The Joker: Ta-daa! It’s… gone! Gambol: You’re crazy.
The Joker: No, I’m not. No…I’m *not.*
The Joker: Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks… look at me! One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can’t take it. I just want to see her smile again, hmm? I just want her to know that I don’t care about the scars. So… I stick a razor in my mouth and do this…
[mimics slicing his mouth open with his tongue]
The Joker: …to myself. And you know what? She can’t stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I’m always smiling!
[Rachel knees the Joker in the groin; he meerly laughs it off]
The Joker: A little fight in you. I like that.
Batman: Then you’re going to love me.
The Joker: See, I’m a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite…and gunpowder…and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They’re cheap!
Batman: Then why do you want to kill me?
Joker: I don’t want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You… you… complete me.
Batman: You’re garbage who kills for money.
Joker: Don’t talk like one of them. You’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you. When the chips are down, these… these civilized people, they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.
The Joker: If you’re good at something, never do it for free.
The Joker: You can’t rely on anyone these days, you gotta do everything yourself, don’t we? That’s ok, I came prepared, it’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?”
The Joker: [holding a knife inside Gambol's mouth] Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was… a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not-one-bit. So – me watching – he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! Turns to me, and he says, “why so serious, son?” Comes at me with the knife… “Why so serious?” He sticks the blade in my mouth… “Let’s put a smile on that face!” And…Why so serious?
The Joker: I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.
Joker: Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren’t you? Huh? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Gambol: [to The Joker] Give me one reason why I shouldn’t have my boy here rip your head off.
The Joker: How about a magic trick?
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table]
The Joker: I’m gonna make this pencil… disappear.
[Gambol's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who pushes his face into the pencil and kills him]
The Joker: Ta-daa! It’s… gone! Gambol: You’re crazy.
The Joker: No, I’m not. No…I’m *not.*
The Joker: Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks… look at me! One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can’t take it. I just want to see her smile again, hmm? I just want her to know that I don’t care about the scars. So… I stick a razor in my mouth and do this…
[mimics slicing his mouth open with his tongue]
The Joker: …to myself. And you know what? She can’t stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I’m always smiling!
[Rachel knees the Joker in the groin; he meerly laughs it off]
The Joker: A little fight in you. I like that.
Batman: Then you’re going to love me.
The Joker: See, I’m a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite…and gunpowder…and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They’re cheap!
Batman: Then why do you want to kill me?
Joker: I don’t want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You… you… complete me.
Batman: You’re garbage who kills for money.
Joker: Don’t talk like one of them. You’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you. When the chips are down, these… these civilized people, they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.
The Joker: If you’re good at something, never do it for free.
The Joker: You can’t rely on anyone these days, you gotta do everything yourself, don’t we? That’s ok, I came prepared, it’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?”
The Joker: [holding a knife inside Gambol's mouth] Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was… a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not-one-bit. So – me watching – he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! Turns to me, and he says, “why so serious, son?” Comes at me with the knife… “Why so serious?” He sticks the blade in my mouth… “Let’s put a smile on that face!” And…Why so serious?
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